Sunday, August 2, 2015
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Are You a Superwoman Daughter?
Are you always on the go? Busy making things happen on the job, in your business, or at home? When people see you, do they think of you as a successful and powerful woman? I can recognize this kind of woman in a split second.
She is normally a very successful entrepreneur or executive on her job. She carries herself very well, she is always improving herself by taking more courses or programs, going back to school or simply reading everything she can get her hands on about improving her life. She dresses well, lives in a great house and drives a really nice car.
While externally, she does have all the markings of success, but in many cases, if you were to take peek inside, would you really see the same thing? This is a question that all successful women must ask themselves. In my program “I’m not that Woman…Your Breakthrough to Love and Money,” I call this woman the Superwoman Daughter Archetype.
The Superwoman Daughter is a Fatherless Daughter, a woman who grew up with an absentee father…a dad who was absent either physically or emotionally, or both. This woman moves at the speed of lightning, she is has an unquenchable thirst or need to be better or perfect. Who she has become through all of her work and effort is never enough. She has to do more and she has to be more. While there is nothing wrong with self improvement and self mastery, I am all for that. But when your quest for improvement comes from a place of need for acceptance and the need to be perfect, this journey can be met with lots of pain. Knowing that you are already amazing and enough, but merely wanting to embrace a bigger expansion of who you are would be a more pleasurable goal.
Most Superwoman Daughters come from a real place of need. Her relationships are
strained because she fears being controlled by anyone and her take charge attitude has cost her real happiness within her relationships. She is what I call an “Extinguisher” when it comes to her love styles and patterns, where she quickly extinguishes the passion and love right out of her relationships due to her controlling and overbearing attitude. She is controlling, secretive and even sometimes combative within her relationships. This is because she believes that if she is in control and perfect, that she is safe and they want leave or hurt her.
She earns very good mo.ney, but she finds it difficult to hold onto it, because she is a pretender when it comes to money matters. She is usually in lots of debts and has a difficult time managing her mo.ney because of the deeper feelings of shame that comes with prosperity.
The Superwoman Daughter’s daddy wounds come from her underlying belief and controlling desire that says, “I want my daddy to protect me, validate me and accept me.”
If the Superwoman Daughter doesn’t deal with her daddy wounds, she will continue to push love and money away from her life. In addition, she will continue this never ending cycle for self improvement and self mastery, while at the same time never really achieving neither.
The validation that she didn’t receive growing up can be replaced with a deep realization that she is already enough and that makes it okay to be who she is. In realizing this and downloading it to a deeper level, she will understand that she no longer has to do anything to receive real love. She simply has to “be.” Sure we all need help clearing those old beliefs that no longer serve us and replacing them with ones that do, but we can know that we are the best that we can be right now. And for some reason, in God’s mind…that is enough!! You don’t have to be anyone’s Superwoman! You are God’s chosen daughter and at the end of the day, that really is all that matters!
She is normally a very successful entrepreneur or executive on her job. She carries herself very well, she is always improving herself by taking more courses or programs, going back to school or simply reading everything she can get her hands on about improving her life. She dresses well, lives in a great house and drives a really nice car.
While externally, she does have all the markings of success, but in many cases, if you were to take peek inside, would you really see the same thing? This is a question that all successful women must ask themselves. In my program “I’m not that Woman…Your Breakthrough to Love and Money,” I call this woman the Superwoman Daughter Archetype.
The Superwoman Daughter is a Fatherless Daughter, a woman who grew up with an absentee father…a dad who was absent either physically or emotionally, or both. This woman moves at the speed of lightning, she is has an unquenchable thirst or need to be better or perfect. Who she has become through all of her work and effort is never enough. She has to do more and she has to be more. While there is nothing wrong with self improvement and self mastery, I am all for that. But when your quest for improvement comes from a place of need for acceptance and the need to be perfect, this journey can be met with lots of pain. Knowing that you are already amazing and enough, but merely wanting to embrace a bigger expansion of who you are would be a more pleasurable goal.
Most Superwoman Daughters come from a real place of need. Her relationships are
strained because she fears being controlled by anyone and her take charge attitude has cost her real happiness within her relationships. She is what I call an “Extinguisher” when it comes to her love styles and patterns, where she quickly extinguishes the passion and love right out of her relationships due to her controlling and overbearing attitude. She is controlling, secretive and even sometimes combative within her relationships. This is because she believes that if she is in control and perfect, that she is safe and they want leave or hurt her.
She earns very good mo.ney, but she finds it difficult to hold onto it, because she is a pretender when it comes to money matters. She is usually in lots of debts and has a difficult time managing her mo.ney because of the deeper feelings of shame that comes with prosperity.
The Superwoman Daughter’s daddy wounds come from her underlying belief and controlling desire that says, “I want my daddy to protect me, validate me and accept me.”
If the Superwoman Daughter doesn’t deal with her daddy wounds, she will continue to push love and money away from her life. In addition, she will continue this never ending cycle for self improvement and self mastery, while at the same time never really achieving neither.
The validation that she didn’t receive growing up can be replaced with a deep realization that she is already enough and that makes it okay to be who she is. In realizing this and downloading it to a deeper level, she will understand that she no longer has to do anything to receive real love. She simply has to “be.” Sure we all need help clearing those old beliefs that no longer serve us and replacing them with ones that do, but we can know that we are the best that we can be right now. And for some reason, in God’s mind…that is enough!! You don’t have to be anyone’s Superwoman! You are God’s chosen daughter and at the end of the day, that really is all that matters!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
A Good Man is Hard to Find...Or Is He?
I often hear women say that a good man is hard to find. Then there are those who say that it’s hard to find a man who is comfortable with a powerful and successful woman. They say that men are intimidated by their success. While I can perhaps sympathize with this theory, I can’t say that I really agree.
First of all, there are very few things that a man is afraid of and a woman is normally not one of them. There are numerous of successful and powerful women who are experiencing beautiful and loving relationships with men who adore, admire and love them. But these women have discovered the hidden keys to making love work.
As I began to look a little deeper into this topic, I discovered the reason why so many powerful and successful women are having a difficult time in finding a real man.
Over the last forty years, women have made great strides in the workplace and in our careers. We have experienced as much success as our male counterparts and in some cases we have surpassed them. And we must celebrate this tremendous gain.
But somewhere during this era we have lost our sense of who we really are. We changed our clothes to look like the men in our tailored blue and black suits. We deepened our voices and tensed our faces so that we could be taken more seriously. We worked long tiring hours trying to prove ourselves and keep up the masculine pace. We wanted to be treated like one of the boys and when that didn’t happened, we cried discrimination.
In other words, we not only competed with the men, we became them. And while yes, we became what the world would deem as successful and powerful, but for many of us, it was achieved at a great cost. We gave up who we really are… our true feminine selves.
So when our “good man” showed up in our lives and didn’t stay very long, we automatically assumed that he was intimidated by our success. But in reality, he came looking for a woman (feminine energy) and what he found was himself (masculine energy), disguised as a woman.
While many women think there maybe times in their lives when they need to actualize their masculine energy in the workplace, it is important to remember that only your feminine energy and power will attract and keep a “real man.” It’s not your masculine, material power or success that a real man is seeking, it’s your true power of the feminine energy that he so desires and needs. Your masculine side has no place in your relationships.
Finding a good man is more about “being” than it is about “doing.” The masculine is active, the feminine is passive, the masculine is dynamic, and the feminine is magnetic. The masculine does while the feminine is. We want a masculine man, but we will never have one unless we become the feminine woman we were created to be.
Our real worth and our real power is not in our material power or success, it is in our feminine authentic self. A real man is not hard to find…but a real woman is.
First of all, there are very few things that a man is afraid of and a woman is normally not one of them. There are numerous of successful and powerful women who are experiencing beautiful and loving relationships with men who adore, admire and love them. But these women have discovered the hidden keys to making love work.
As I began to look a little deeper into this topic, I discovered the reason why so many powerful and successful women are having a difficult time in finding a real man.
Over the last forty years, women have made great strides in the workplace and in our careers. We have experienced as much success as our male counterparts and in some cases we have surpassed them. And we must celebrate this tremendous gain.
But somewhere during this era we have lost our sense of who we really are. We changed our clothes to look like the men in our tailored blue and black suits. We deepened our voices and tensed our faces so that we could be taken more seriously. We worked long tiring hours trying to prove ourselves and keep up the masculine pace. We wanted to be treated like one of the boys and when that didn’t happened, we cried discrimination.
In other words, we not only competed with the men, we became them. And while yes, we became what the world would deem as successful and powerful, but for many of us, it was achieved at a great cost. We gave up who we really are… our true feminine selves.
So when our “good man” showed up in our lives and didn’t stay very long, we automatically assumed that he was intimidated by our success. But in reality, he came looking for a woman (feminine energy) and what he found was himself (masculine energy), disguised as a woman.
While many women think there maybe times in their lives when they need to actualize their masculine energy in the workplace, it is important to remember that only your feminine energy and power will attract and keep a “real man.” It’s not your masculine, material power or success that a real man is seeking, it’s your true power of the feminine energy that he so desires and needs. Your masculine side has no place in your relationships.
Finding a good man is more about “being” than it is about “doing.” The masculine is active, the feminine is passive, the masculine is dynamic, and the feminine is magnetic. The masculine does while the feminine is. We want a masculine man, but we will never have one unless we become the feminine woman we were created to be.
Our real worth and our real power is not in our material power or success, it is in our feminine authentic self. A real man is not hard to find…but a real woman is.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Mind Stories vs. Heart Stories
"Our past are the stories that exist only in our minds, but our future are the stories that exist only in our hearts."--Angela Carr Patterson
All of us have these stories swarming around in our minds. Stories of rejection, stories of betrayal, stories of abuse and stories of fear. But are they really real? They become real as long as we continue to give them life. We give them life when we continue to remember them, to talk about them, and to re-experience them. And when we continue to give these stories life, we re-create them in our lives as well.
It's time that we begin to tell a new story. The stories that we carry within our hearts. Those are the stories that each of us want to create in our lives. Stories of forgiveness, stories of hope, stories of renewal, stories of abundance and stories of love. Our love stories.
As a Fatherless Daughter or a woman who grew up without her daddy playing a "real and significant role in her life, it can become difficult to tell new stories. Not having daddy to contribute in our lives can leave a void and an emptiness that we spend a lifetime trying to fill through creating a world of "false power." This false power can come in the form of relationships, career, businesses, clothes, cars, jewelry, money, food, drugs/alcohol and even religion.
We try to fill our lives with these things, thinking they will help us replace the old stories. But as long as we don't learn how to release the old stories, we cannot tell new ones and nothing in our lives will change. The only way to begin telling new stories, the ones that live in our hearts, is to release the stories that still exist in our minds. There are 3 simple steps we can do to begin creating a new story.
1. Change Your Mind.
The stories that remain in our minds are the ones that entered there based on experiences from our past. These experiences have formed beliefs systems that are controlling our current lives. If you want to know what your beliefs are, take a look at your current life’s circumstances. They are all a direct reflections of what you are believing. But at any moment you can begin to change your mind. You don’t have to believe that you will never amount to anything. You don’t have to believe that no one will ever love you. You don’t have to believe that you will never be financially wealthy. You can change your mind by replacing those beliefs with new ones. The ones that live loud in your heart. The ones that say, you are loved and you are lovable. The beliefs that say you can live your dreams and you can have, you can do, and you can be anything you want in life. Begin reading new books, begin taking new courses, begin going to new seminars. Saturate your mind with new beliefs.
2. Change Your Company.
Who do you spending most of your time with? In order to begin telling a new story, you have to surround yourself with people who are telling the same stories. They are people who tell stories of hope, renewal, abundance and joy. It has been proven that who you spend your most time around influences your thoughts, your choices and your actions. It may be time to take a good look at the company you have been keeping and change it now. Begin creating you a new supporting cast of people who will encourage and empower your life.
3.Change Your Talk
Our words shape our lives. What are you saying? Are you talking your life into a continuous rut? Your words have power. But not just any words. The words we speak from our hearts are the ones that have the most power. What does your heart say? Your heart will always speak love and life into existence. Why? Because, your heart is where God lives. Begin speaking from your deeper voice. The Voice of God will fill your mouth with words that bring abundance, joy, and love into your life. Be sensitive to this Voice and only speak that which you hear from Him. As you change your talk and speak “heart words,” your life will begin to take on a new story of its own.
We do have the power to change our stories. It is not an option any longer. It’s time for all of us to tell new stories in order to have a new life and in order to create a new world. We want to hear from you.. Share your new story below by writing a few short sentences. Your story will inspire others, so let’s share.
All of us have these stories swarming around in our minds. Stories of rejection, stories of betrayal, stories of abuse and stories of fear. But are they really real? They become real as long as we continue to give them life. We give them life when we continue to remember them, to talk about them, and to re-experience them. And when we continue to give these stories life, we re-create them in our lives as well.
It's time that we begin to tell a new story. The stories that we carry within our hearts. Those are the stories that each of us want to create in our lives. Stories of forgiveness, stories of hope, stories of renewal, stories of abundance and stories of love. Our love stories.
As a Fatherless Daughter or a woman who grew up without her daddy playing a "real and significant role in her life, it can become difficult to tell new stories. Not having daddy to contribute in our lives can leave a void and an emptiness that we spend a lifetime trying to fill through creating a world of "false power." This false power can come in the form of relationships, career, businesses, clothes, cars, jewelry, money, food, drugs/alcohol and even religion.
We try to fill our lives with these things, thinking they will help us replace the old stories. But as long as we don't learn how to release the old stories, we cannot tell new ones and nothing in our lives will change. The only way to begin telling new stories, the ones that live in our hearts, is to release the stories that still exist in our minds. There are 3 simple steps we can do to begin creating a new story.
1. Change Your Mind.
The stories that remain in our minds are the ones that entered there based on experiences from our past. These experiences have formed beliefs systems that are controlling our current lives. If you want to know what your beliefs are, take a look at your current life’s circumstances. They are all a direct reflections of what you are believing. But at any moment you can begin to change your mind. You don’t have to believe that you will never amount to anything. You don’t have to believe that no one will ever love you. You don’t have to believe that you will never be financially wealthy. You can change your mind by replacing those beliefs with new ones. The ones that live loud in your heart. The ones that say, you are loved and you are lovable. The beliefs that say you can live your dreams and you can have, you can do, and you can be anything you want in life. Begin reading new books, begin taking new courses, begin going to new seminars. Saturate your mind with new beliefs.
2. Change Your Company.
Who do you spending most of your time with? In order to begin telling a new story, you have to surround yourself with people who are telling the same stories. They are people who tell stories of hope, renewal, abundance and joy. It has been proven that who you spend your most time around influences your thoughts, your choices and your actions. It may be time to take a good look at the company you have been keeping and change it now. Begin creating you a new supporting cast of people who will encourage and empower your life.
3.Change Your Talk
Our words shape our lives. What are you saying? Are you talking your life into a continuous rut? Your words have power. But not just any words. The words we speak from our hearts are the ones that have the most power. What does your heart say? Your heart will always speak love and life into existence. Why? Because, your heart is where God lives. Begin speaking from your deeper voice. The Voice of God will fill your mouth with words that bring abundance, joy, and love into your life. Be sensitive to this Voice and only speak that which you hear from Him. As you change your talk and speak “heart words,” your life will begin to take on a new story of its own.
We do have the power to change our stories. It is not an option any longer. It’s time for all of us to tell new stories in order to have a new life and in order to create a new world. We want to hear from you.. Share your new story below by writing a few short sentences. Your story will inspire others, so let’s share.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Create a Space for Love Today....
It's Valentine's Day!
For many people Valentine's Day is a time to show your significant other just how much you really love and care for him. But for many people who do not have a significant other, this can be a very difficult time. And of course the all the retail stores are smiling all the way to the bank.
While this day has become so commercialized and really is designed for a large population of people to make lots of money on people who are in love, it doesn't have to be a day of gloom and doom for those without a mate.
As we celebrate this day, it is the perfect time to focus on love...but not just romantic love. Why not use this day as a time to focus on what love can do for our world?
Of course we all want to be romanced and swept off our feet, showered with wonderful gifts. Yet, we can never ignore the fact that God has called each of us to bring love to the planet. So why not do something different this Valentine's Day? I have come up with 3 unique things you can do to celebrate Valentine's Day differently:
1. The money you would have spent on a gift, use it to purchase some items that are needed for the local battered women's shelter. Many of these women don't even have basics, such as underwear and socks.
2. Instead of going out to dinner, donate some items to the local food bank. The number of people they now served has doubled and in some cases trippled in the past two years.
3. The money you would have used to purchased a Valentine's card, why not purchase a "Thinking About You" card for a friend who may be going through a difficult time and need some encouragement.
I can assure you, that if you take your focus off of what you don't have and who you are not spending Valentine's Day with, and place your focus on making a contribution of "Real Agape Love" to the planet, the love you desire will surely begin to make it's way to your doorstep...sooner than you think. Because only what you are not giving in any situation is missing. It just happens to work that way.
For many people Valentine's Day is a time to show your significant other just how much you really love and care for him. But for many people who do not have a significant other, this can be a very difficult time. And of course the all the retail stores are smiling all the way to the bank.
While this day has become so commercialized and really is designed for a large population of people to make lots of money on people who are in love, it doesn't have to be a day of gloom and doom for those without a mate.
As we celebrate this day, it is the perfect time to focus on love...but not just romantic love. Why not use this day as a time to focus on what love can do for our world?
Of course we all want to be romanced and swept off our feet, showered with wonderful gifts. Yet, we can never ignore the fact that God has called each of us to bring love to the planet. So why not do something different this Valentine's Day? I have come up with 3 unique things you can do to celebrate Valentine's Day differently:
1. The money you would have spent on a gift, use it to purchase some items that are needed for the local battered women's shelter. Many of these women don't even have basics, such as underwear and socks.
2. Instead of going out to dinner, donate some items to the local food bank. The number of people they now served has doubled and in some cases trippled in the past two years.
3. The money you would have used to purchased a Valentine's card, why not purchase a "Thinking About You" card for a friend who may be going through a difficult time and need some encouragement.
I can assure you, that if you take your focus off of what you don't have and who you are not spending Valentine's Day with, and place your focus on making a contribution of "Real Agape Love" to the planet, the love you desire will surely begin to make it's way to your doorstep...sooner than you think. Because only what you are not giving in any situation is missing. It just happens to work that way.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Are You a Champion?
How is 2011 working out for you? Are you still excited about making this your best year ever? Or are you starting to lose your momentum because of the challenges and obstacles that are showing up?
If you are starting to slow down, I want to remind you that these challenges are not meant to create failure for you, but they are meant to strengthen you and help you to grow.
Often times, when things begin to get hard or difficult, we start to question whether are not we are doing the right thing. I’m here to tell you that sometimes doing the right thing will be met with challenges.
It takes courage to walk through in the midst of and inspite of the difficulties. That’s how champions are made. Champions are folks who understand their reasons for going for the goal and are steadfast, unmovable in their pursuit.
I want to share with you four distinct traits that separates a champion from everyone else.
1. Champions have a burning desire to succeed.
Champions not only have goals, but they ardently desire them. Robert Collier, summed up the idea of desire beautifully in his 1926 self-help classic Secret of the Ages." He said, "Very few people know how to desire with sufficient intensity. They do not know what it is to feel and manifest that intense, eager, longing, craving, insistent, demanding, ravenous desire which is akin to the persistent, insistent, ardent, overwhelming desire of the drowning man for a breath of air, or a desert-lost man for a drink of water, or the famished man for bread and meat." Champions have burning desire. They want it and they want it badly.
2. Champions are persistent.
Champions never, ever quit. Thomas Edison was the epitome of persistence: He conducted 10,000 experiments before finally finding a filament that would burn in the electric light bulb. Champions approach their goals with the same diligence of an Edison. They know that if they persist long enough, eventually they must succeed.
3. Champions learn from their failures.
Champions don't view losses as failures, they see them as learning experiences. When asked how it felt to fail 10,000 times, Thomas Edison replied, "I didn’t fail, I learned 9,999 ways that wouldn’t work." Champions know that they haven’t failed until they quit; but once they quit, then they have failed. A champion finds a lesson in every apparent loss and finds ways to grow from it.
Champions have incredible powers of focus and
concentration.
Champions set goals and then maintain a laser-like focus on them. They have the ability to always keep the long term objective in their sights while focusing 100% on what they are doing at the moment. If you watch a champion train you will notice that they are completely oblivious to their surroundings. 100% of their focus and concentration is on what they are doing. They almost appear to have slipped into a hypnosis-like trance. This peak physiological and psychological state has often been referred to as being in "the zone" or being in "flow." Champions can access this state instantly at will. When it comes time to train they turn everything else off and zero in on what they are doing. Are you focused or do you allow distractions to take you off course. Champions have laser focus.
Remember, Champions are not born, they are made!!
We would love to hear from you about this post. Please leave your comment below.
If you are starting to slow down, I want to remind you that these challenges are not meant to create failure for you, but they are meant to strengthen you and help you to grow.
Often times, when things begin to get hard or difficult, we start to question whether are not we are doing the right thing. I’m here to tell you that sometimes doing the right thing will be met with challenges.
It takes courage to walk through in the midst of and inspite of the difficulties. That’s how champions are made. Champions are folks who understand their reasons for going for the goal and are steadfast, unmovable in their pursuit.
I want to share with you four distinct traits that separates a champion from everyone else.
1. Champions have a burning desire to succeed.
Champions not only have goals, but they ardently desire them. Robert Collier, summed up the idea of desire beautifully in his 1926 self-help classic Secret of the Ages." He said, "Very few people know how to desire with sufficient intensity. They do not know what it is to feel and manifest that intense, eager, longing, craving, insistent, demanding, ravenous desire which is akin to the persistent, insistent, ardent, overwhelming desire of the drowning man for a breath of air, or a desert-lost man for a drink of water, or the famished man for bread and meat." Champions have burning desire. They want it and they want it badly.
2. Champions are persistent.
Champions never, ever quit. Thomas Edison was the epitome of persistence: He conducted 10,000 experiments before finally finding a filament that would burn in the electric light bulb. Champions approach their goals with the same diligence of an Edison. They know that if they persist long enough, eventually they must succeed.
3. Champions learn from their failures.
Champions don't view losses as failures, they see them as learning experiences. When asked how it felt to fail 10,000 times, Thomas Edison replied, "I didn’t fail, I learned 9,999 ways that wouldn’t work." Champions know that they haven’t failed until they quit; but once they quit, then they have failed. A champion finds a lesson in every apparent loss and finds ways to grow from it.
Champions have incredible powers of focus and
concentration.
Champions set goals and then maintain a laser-like focus on them. They have the ability to always keep the long term objective in their sights while focusing 100% on what they are doing at the moment. If you watch a champion train you will notice that they are completely oblivious to their surroundings. 100% of their focus and concentration is on what they are doing. They almost appear to have slipped into a hypnosis-like trance. This peak physiological and psychological state has often been referred to as being in "the zone" or being in "flow." Champions can access this state instantly at will. When it comes time to train they turn everything else off and zero in on what they are doing. Are you focused or do you allow distractions to take you off course. Champions have laser focus.
Remember, Champions are not born, they are made!!
We would love to hear from you about this post. Please leave your comment below.
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